


i finally got my ducks in a row

by shesthemuscle, wearethewitches



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scene, Post-Season/Series 03, Round Robin, Snapshots, the bus kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-22 11:20:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21301196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shesthemuscle/pseuds/shesthemuscle, https://archiveofourown.org/users/wearethewitches/pseuds/wearethewitches
Summary: Three moments in time with Melinda May and the Ducklings.
Relationships: Leo Fitz & Melinda May, Melinda May & Skye | Daisy Johnson
Comments: 4
Kudos: 69
Collections: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Round Robin Event





	1. FITZ

They are in the middle of a fight against Aida and there’s…there’s a moment to think.

While Jemma is coming up with ideas to defeat the killer AI-turned-Inhuman-menace and the Zephyr is flying at different speeds and altitudes, randomly changing routes, Fitz remembers screaming. Vivisections, autopsies – people he knows, people _he _knew screaming, terrified, if they weren’t out cold on tables and pallets. Blood, DNA, genomes-

A hand grasps his elbow, pulling him back to reality. Fitz stares at May, catatonic, _frozen_ as she says his name.

“May,” he wheezes in return. May in the Framework never looked at him this way. May in the Framework was a stellar agent of Hydra, a _machine_ of death. There is a light squeeze around his triceps, her grip shifting so she can move him. Her eyes search his and clearly, she is frightened of what she sees. Since when had Fitz ever been able to tell when May was frightened? Agent May is closed off, cold, always following his orders-

“Fitz, breathe,” she instructs and for a moment, he is outraged. _Breathe?_ She can’t tell him what to do…

But he breathes – in and out, shuddering and thinking, _no, of course she can tell me what to do. She’s **Agent May**._ All of this is wrong. His thoughts are wrong, his reactions are so very, very telling; Fitz wouldn’t be surprised if she wanted him in for a psych evaluation the moment they touched down. He has done many terrible things.

“It wasn’t you,” she says, arms wrapping around him as he sobs – crying his heart out. Fitz can see Gordon in his memories, skin of his face sliced open to reveal a skull that was warped and distorted by terrigenesis. Becoming an Inhuman had created a map of the universe in collagen and calcium phosphate in the empty sockets of his eyes.

It was beautiful – and it’s terrifying that Fitz agrees that it really, really _still_ _is._

“I’m a monster,” he cries, voice muffled by the dark strands of her hair. Part of him reviles the contact, still thinking of May as an agent of Hydra, his subordinate and his lackey – but at the same time, that _same part_ calls her his friend, Daisy’s CO, Coulson’s right hand and most importantly of all, a woman who will always defend him and care for him.

She shushes him, hand dragging across the dark blonde of his hair. “You aren’t a monster, Fitz. That world wasn’t real. You didn’t do those things.”

“You don’t know what I did.”

“I was there, wasn’t I?” May reminds him, drawing him back and meeting his eyes. To Fitz, she is blurry, but he wipes away his tears and blinks rapidly._ Don’t show weakness._ “I was the first inside that machine. AIDA took our freedoms and twisted our regrets until the world we knew wasn’t the world at all. Hydra never won. You aren’t Doctor Fitz.”

“_But I am_,” he hisses and this time, he’s angry – and his anger is a volcano, lava bubbling away with only smoke to reveal his erupting state. “_I am that man!_”

May holds his shoulders tightly. Her grip is painful and her nails dig through the cotton of his shirt, grounding him in the present with pain and a righteous – _an irrational_ – want for justice. Who is she to tell Leopold Fitz what to do?

“Say that again – I dare you!” She shoots back, clenching her jaw and staring at him with dark, determined eyes. “You are not that man. You are Fitz, you’re _our_ engineer, _our_ agent. You’re not some twisted psycho who couldn’t get over his daddy issues.”

It is both the right and wrong thing to say. The Fitz that knows May feels uplifted and hopeful – but the Fitz that belongs in a world that doesn’t exist swarms that, like a blizzard or a horde of locusts, covering it and crushing all rebellion in one fell swoop.

“Perhaps you’re right,” he says, oh so calm and functional. “Perhaps I’m an agent-”

May steps back as if she were scalded, hands slipping to her gun.

“-and perhaps I’m an engineer,” Fitz continues. Why would he fight this? This is who he is. “Perhaps I’m _Fitz_ – but that Fitz is weak. That Fitz can’t stand to even _think_ of what he’s done. What _I’ve_ done.”

May lifts her chin. He finds it amusing, in the depths of his mind, that she’s shorter than him. Her voice is chilling, but far from frightening as she orders, “Get your head on straight. This isn’t a negotiation.”

“Agent May,” Fitz pouts dramatically, putting his hands to his heart. “I’m wounded. Aren’t I one of your team? _Your Fitz._”

“Mocking me won’t bring your world back.” She replies coldly, as if that’s what he wants. “You can’t behave like this and expect to be let loose.”

_She’s right,_ he admits to himself. _Damn._

“Fine,” he drops his hands. He feels like a little boy – like his mother has just told him off for making a rocket in the attic when the windows are seized shut. _You can’t let that off inside, Leo_, she’d tutted him, dragging him by his hand out onto the roof of their block of flats.

Fitz flinches. His mother coddled him. It was an amazing experience, living like that – but his father was stronger. Fiercer. His opinions war and his resentment mixes with love for either parent. He went with his mother- _no_, he went with his father- **_no_**.

“Fitz.”

May cuts through it like a knife, a scalpel cutting its way through veins and warm flesh. Fitz’ eyes dart up and down, taking in the gun at her waist, the weight to her shoulders from trying to hold her atrophied body up – and he judges her dangerous. Melinda May, _the Cavalry_, will always be dangerous in any universe, real or fictional.

But Melinda May will always _care_, too. She might hide it, she might refuse to let you acknowledge it – but it’s true. She’s there. A steady hand, a blistering anger on your behalf – Christ, even the part of Fitz that belongs in another reality can see how much of a surrogate parental figure to Daisy she is.

_She’s there for me, too,_ his mind thinks, treacherously. Fitz’ hand rises, reaching for a moment, before he forces it back behind his back, looking away from her in guilt – even though his gut roils with betrayal and hate.

_Agent May isn’t mine to claim._

“You should go,” he says, in the most level voice he can. “There’s nothing to be done. I need to figure out how to kill AIDA.”

“Jemma can help with that. You need a break.”

“I don’t _want_ a break!” He spins around, vision blurring as he tries to make her see. “I don’t want to have to think about this! I don’t want to think about how I _know_ what I’m thinking is wrong! Everything about me is wrong – I’m a bloody _monster!_”

She grabs his arms, holding him fast. “You are not a monster, Fitz! Don’t you _dare_ say that about yourself. I was Hydra! My regret helped spin the world into a Nazi paradise, where they hunted down Inhumans and gave them to you.”

Fitz keens.

“And that’s my fault,” she continues, “for getting caught in the first place and letting that crap happen. You never should have been put in that position, Fitz, _never._ If anyone’s the monster, it’s me.”

He all but collapses, feeling her arms wrap around him in a tight squeeze as he sobs. Because she’s right, _of course_ she’s right, even though he hates it, even though she’s not the monster here – that, Fitz won’t ever believe, not when he can see Raina’s distraught face on his table and the inside guts of a little girl whose father could see death.

No.

May is not the monster here – that’s Fitz. Doctor Leopold _Fitz._

But either way, he’s selfish and he wants for comfort that neither biological parent he has, in any world, can give him now. So he holds on, arms like a vice as May murmurs quiet platitudes into his golden hair and treasures him close, like a mother and child.


	2. DAISY

“….is a traitor. Why did Mace allow her to come back?”

May freezes in her tracks.

They couldn’t be talking about who she thinks they’re talking about, can they?

“Besides, she’s a weird emo freak now. She’s not good enough for S.H.I.E.L.D., not that she ever was.”

Anger boils up inside of May as she turns down a hallway to confront the agents talking about Daisy because they have no idea what she’s been through.

It’s clear her anger shows on her as the two agents flinch and try to back away from her as soon as they catch sight of her.

“I hope that I misheard you because you wouldn’t be talking badly about a fellow agent who’s saved your collective asses several times. Now could you?”

Her voice is steady but icy nonetheless as it makes the junior agents shudder.

“Don’t let me catch you or anyone else talking about Daisy in manner that she’s undeserving of. Are we clear?”

May glares at them when they don’t immediately respond.

“I said, Are. We. Clear?”

“Ma’am, yes ma’am,” the two agents respond.

“Get out of my sight.”

They immediately run off, not wanting to anger May anymore than she already is.

May sighs.

“Mack said you go ‘Mama Bear’ where Daisy is concerned but I did not believe him. She deserves it though,” comments an unexpected voice.

May turns and spots Elena leaning against the wall.

Smirking, she nods in acknowledgement of the comment.

“Smart people know better and the others learn the hard way.” Replies May.

Elena nods.

“Daisy’s in her room and could use some help, I think,” Elena raises her hands in a placating manner, “it not bad, I don’t think. I heard banging though.”

“Thank you, Elena. I will go check on her.”

As May walks away, she looks back at Elena over her shoulder,

“Mack’s in the gym working out, thought you’d like to know.”

Elena smirks then speeds off as May mentally pats herself on the back.

Turning her focus back onto Daisy, she quickly heads off in the direction of the newly returned agent’s bunk, hoping to provide some measure of help.

May knocks on her door.

“Daisy? Are you in there?” she calls out.

“Yeah, May. You can come in if you want,” Daisy replies.

May opens the door before looking around for Daisy but doesn’t see her in the room then notices the light on in her bathroom so that’s where she must be.

The bathroom door opens right as May reaches it.

Daisy grins sheepishly at her mentor as she rubs the back of her neck with her hair a total mess.

“Yeah, I know. Looks like a complete horror show.”

May chuckles.

“Come on. Let’s get you all sorted out so you don’t send Phil running for the hills,” she says.

Daisy giggles, warming May’s heart.

It’s been so long since she’s heard that sound, it’s become a precious one she cherishes, not that she’d mention that out loud – she has a reputation to maintain, after all.

“Sit down and I’ll see what I can do.”

Daisy sits in the tub as May turns on the water then switching over to the handheld shower head and running the water over Daisy’s head. Once her hair’s wet, May grabs the shampoo and squirts some onto her hand before massaging it into her hair.

Daisy leans into the touch and closes her eyes as she relaxes.

May smiles as she takes her time to give Daisy a head massage before rinsing out the shampoo. Then she repeats the process with the condition though before she rinses out the conditioner, she runs a comb through Daisy’s hair, ensuring the conditioner coats every strand.

Grabbing a towel, she gently pats her hair dry.

“Come on Daisy, you can’t sleep in the bathtub,” says May.

Daisy grumbles but carefully stands up before getting out.

The two women enter Daisy’s bedroom and May sits on her bed as Daisy changes into dry clothes.

Daisy yawns, stretching her arms up and over her head, causing May to yawn in response.

“Don’t…do…that…Daisy…”

Each pause a yawn as May attempts to glare at Daisy but it’s ruined by the yawning she’s fighting.

Daisy yawns again.

Joining May on her bed, she lays her head in May’s lap and smiles when she feels her start to play with her hair.

The comforting action causes her to drift off to sleep, peacefully for the first time in a long time.

As much as she’s glad Daisy is sleeping, May can’t help letting her eyes wander over the sleeping agent, taking in all of the changes that occurred in their time a part.

Faint worry lines…exhaustion still lingering that goes soul deep…attempts at lightening her hair back from the black she dyed it after leaving the team when Lincoln died…she looks thinner as well…

While she can’t do much for most of the changes, May plans meals for Daisy to eat in order to gain weight back and which workout routines to help ease her back in so she doesn’t hurt herself.

At the end of the day, Daisy’s home and that’s all that matters.

May knows there’s still work to be done with Daisy herself and with the team but that’s tomorrow’s problem. If anyone has an issue with that, May’s happy to talk to them.

“Welcome home, Daisy. You’ve been missed,” she whispers.

May lifts Daisy’s head and places it on a pillow before moving to lay down beside her. As if sensing May’s repositioning, Daisy immediately moves to cuddle May causing the warm sensation in her chest to grow again. She never thought she’d be a mother but the best things do truly happen unexpectedly.

_Click_

Her head snaps up and she sees Phil standing in the doorway, camera in hand and his dopey smile on his face. She shakes her fist at him but mentally plans to force him to give her that photo.

Phil grins before quietly backing up and closing the door.

Settling in, May decides Daisy has the right idea and drifts off to sleep to join her girl in dreamland.


End file.
